So yesterday I did this exercise, inspired by the girls over at PretirementLiving.com. They are the ones who inspired me to take on this exercise: The Charmed Life Worksheet.
I actually designed it myself as a way to make sense of my life, and figure out where I’m spending my time. According to what they say, I’m probably spending 80% of my time doing things thatgive me 20% of my fulfillment in life – and only 20% of my time doing the things that give me 80% of my fulfillment in life.
So as part of this exercise, I had to write two headings on a piece of paper – on one side, write “What my life looks like now…” and on the other, “What a fulfilling life would look like for me…”
Then answer those questions, and take a long, hard look at the responses. So, here goes – this is me, doing the worksheet, right here on this blog.
What my life looks like now… (In other words, what tasks do I fill my day with.)
- House work
- Writing, managing and creating things for clients
- Watching TV
- Wishing I spent more time with my daughter
- Cooking dinner if I have the energy
- About 20-30 minutes of quality time with lil’ girl and hubby.
What a fulfilling life would look like for me… (Or, what I would fill my days with – in a perfect world, if nothing held me back.)
- All the time I want with hubby and lil’ girl.
- Lots of time outdoors, travelling, and taking on new adventures.
- Contributing to my community more.
- Getting out and meeting new people, connecting with others.
- Meditating and doing yoga every day.
- Cooking and baking more.
- Writing more for myself than for clients.
- Waking up in the morning actually excited to start the day.
Those activities are fulfilling to me. They bring me joy – they make me happy. And yet it is so obvious that I’m only spending 20% of my time right now actually doing those things. I tell myself I’m too afraid to pick up the phone, go meet new people, network, give presentations, etc. – That I don’t have the money to do a bunch of those things. That I don’t have the time.
The funny thing is, all of that (and more) are possible just by designing the right business in the right way. And we have already done it – the business that hubby and I are creating together will give me all of that. Maybe not directly with certain things, but it will sure leave me the time to do those things.
But here I am instead, hiding behind my keyboard and my excuses. I tell myself that I’m too scared to pick up the phone and start making calls – and even if I did get brave enough to do it, my fear would come through on the phone and sabotage me. I tell myself that I’ve made so many obligations to my existing clients that I couldn’t possibly spend all of my time on this new venture – especially because it won’t succeed.
I actually tell myself it won’t succeed. I’m too afraid to let go of what is working financially to take action on what will work in every area of my life.
But then again, that is what I’m writing about. My journey to pre-tirement, a charmed life, a fulfilling way of being, from the perspective of a real person (me) and real problems.
Confidence is a huge issue for me. It is an issue in the way that I have none.
Other people see me as an eloquent speaker, a powerful communicator, and someone who has a “way with words.” I see my vocabulary as a way for compensating for my lack of confidence that there is actual value in what I have to say.
Other people say that I’m lucky to be doing what I’m doing – to be working from home, my hubby being a stay at home dad, my daughter running around me all day, working in my PJs and supporting my family.
I hate it.
I mean, I love having my daughter and husband around, and not having to deal with bosses and commuting and all of that. But every single day I have to do work that I find unfulfilling, boring, and to be honest, completely miserable – and I have to turn down my daughter’s requests to play, or my husbands requests for time, or my extended family’s requests for time, favours, and attention so that I can continue doing it.
Today is my starting point. Today is the day that I take charge of the direction of my life, and begin moving from this place that I am to the place that I want to be.
Today, I am overweight, inactive, miserable with most of my work, and feel that I don’t get enough time to do the things I enjoy – spending time with my family, being outdoors, exploring my spirituality, writing, etc.
Tomorrow, I am one step closer to living a life that I love. Pretiring – designing my business to suit my life, not to pay for it.
My action steps for tomorrow include actually waking up early and doing yoga, then meditating. And I have to make at least threee phonecalls for our joint business venture. It will be uncomfortable, but I know deep down that I can do it – I just have to get out of my own way.
To a happy and peaceful tomorrow…